Make Me Feel Alive
by xOildale
Summary: Sebastian left. Ciel's never felt a broken heart until now. Ciel POV. I tried to avoid OOCness. SebaCiel. Title inspired from Sixx:AM.


"Master."

I opened my eyes. Something felt…different. There was no aroma of tea like there usually is, no charm in the voice that I usually hear. What was so off about today?

Then, I remembered.

"It's—um—, it's time to get up, Master."

I looked, and saw Meyrin. She didn't have that usual look to her of excitement to start the day. In fact, she looked a bit down. More than a bit, actually. She looked very upset.

"Finny made some tea, but we weren't sure if you wanted it," She spoke quietly, not in her usual tone of joy. Today was…

Unusual.

"Where is it?" I asked. My head hurt, my voice was hoarse.

"It's in the kitchen, I'll bring it—"

"It's fine. I'll get it myself. Let's get the crack in your glasses fixed before you attempt to carry dishes," I said. I stretched a bit, and got out of bed. The sun wasn't out, it was covered by clouds. Big, grey clouds. It would rain at any given moment.

"Um, I-I can dress you if you'd like, although I'm not sure you want me to," She said. Her mood was so dull, the way she was speaking sounded so drained of any joy. I simply nodded. She went to the dresser, where she pulled out an outfit for the day. I was surprised at how she had done it so quickly. Not that she was incapable of doing things, not at all. It just wasn't a natural thing. I wasn't used to it. I was used to someone else…Sebastian.

I cringed.

"Are you alright, Master?" She asked. She may have thought she had done something wrong, which she hadn't. In fact, I was dressed already, besides my shoes. Was I that lost in thought?

"…Yes."

"Is this outfit alright?"

Only black, but with a bit of white.

"Yes."

"Would you like your tea, now?"

"That would be nice."

x

I needed to get my mind off of last night.

I sipped the Earl Grey, fighting off the thoughts that were forcing their way into my mind. I barely felt hungry, my head still hurt. I didn't hit it…or maybe it was because I had actually cried for once in 3 years.

I stood up from the table and went back up to my studies. Maybe reading would take my mind off of this…

x

The day had dragged on so strangely, so uncomfortably. Finny and Bard were just as upset as Meyrin, if not more upset.

I decided to go outside, to get some air. I stepped on something, something stuck to the floor. I looked down.

Blood…Sebastian's blood from last night.

I cringed, and backed up. I backed into someone.

"Master," Finny said, catching me. I stood up. "What's wrong?"

"C-Clean that up…Please…" I said, my voice barely audible. I pointed to what I had stepped in. Finny looked toward it, and his face fell.

"Y-Yes, right away," He said, attempting to keep his tone. He went off to the closet to get cleaning supplies. I waited until he was gone, and I ran outside, nearly tripping over myself.

I slammed the doors behind me, and stood just above the stairs.

"Sebastian!" I called.

Nothing.

"Sebastian! Come to me now, this is an order!"

I waited. But he didn't come.

"S-Sebastian…" I felt weak. My eyes stung. I didn't want to cry, I cried yesterday…I hated crying. I hated smiling. I hated emotions… I hate the fact that Sebastian left me. That goddamn liar. Why would he do this to me—he swore he'd never leave my side, and yet, here I am…all alone…again. I'm always alone. Why? Why does everything always end up this way? I was content with Sebastian. I was more than content, in fact… I needed him.

I gave up and let the tears fall. I looked out on the sunset, hoping for something. Was he just far away, and taking a long time to get here? I don't even know where he went… He just left. Or was taken. I touched the wound through my clothes on my shoulder…This could have been me. But no, it's him. And it's all my fault.

_"__My lord!" My shoulder was bleeding from the bullet. Sebastian grabbed me, and threw me across the room. I landed on one of the shelfs that had no use, as it was nearly the height of the ceiling. How he managed the throw…_

_I saw odd looking people enter the room. They were all wearing dark blue suits... Actually, they may not have even been people at all._

_Before Sebastian could react, he was on the floor. I had no idea what had happened, but the…creatures, were gone._

_"__Sebastian!"_

_He didn't answer me._

_"__Sebastian, go after them! It's an order!"_

_He didn't even budge…_

_I gulped, and leaped from the shelf to the staircase. I barely made it. I went down the stairs, approaching him._

_"__Sebastian…"_

_There was…silk…on him. No, not silk…Thread? Perhaps it stunned him. Maybe some abnormal demon weapon or something._

_"__Sebastian."_

_He wouldn't even look at me._

_"__Hey." I nudged him with my foot. I backed up again. There was something on the floor…_

_Blood?_

_It hit me. _

_I touched the thread. It did nothing. I attempted to pull it off of him, but it cut through him._

_Holy shit._

_He…he was…_

_I let out a scream, followed by sobs._

_"__M-MEYRIN! FINNY! BARD! S-SOMEONE!"_

_The servants came running in, and looked shocked._

_"__What happened to Sebastian?!" Finny asked._

_"__Th-Theres something on him a-and he won't respond-d to m-me—" _

_I felt Meyrin grab me. She held me tightly, I didn't want her to let me go. I watched Bard cut the thread off of Sebastian, and I cried more and more._

_"__Is he alright?" Finny asked._

_"__No."_

_I cringed._

_"__He's not wakin' up," Bard said. I grabbed Sebastian, letting go of control._

_"__Don't leave me! You can't! You—You can't!"_

_Everything went black._

I sobbed at the memory.

But…If he was gone then the contract…

Of coarse!

I ran inside, dashing up the stairs and to my bedroom. I ripped my eyepatch off, looking at my eye.

My eye wasn't there…there was a hand…—

"My lord."

I spun around.

What…

"S-Sebastian?"

"I've never seen you cry before. It suits you."

"E-Excuse me?" He chuckled.

"How did you get back here?"

"Well, I'm simply one Hell of a butler," He said, as if it was obvious. I smacked him.

"Stop making me feel stupid and tell me what fucking happened!"

"Very well," His eyes seemed crimson as ever. "I went into shock, however no one really payed attention to my…well, I guess I have no heartbeat."

"You never…?"

"Not at all."

I did something I never thought I'd do…and hugged him.

I felt him hug back.

"I thought you left me," I said quietly.

"Never."

"Because I'm your meal, of coarse."

"No…" No? "Because I couldn't bare to leave you. Even after I consume you…I'll never leave you." I felt his chin rest on my head.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Because you make me feel alive," He answered simply.


End file.
